Did I miss the Good Friday memo?

I remember the first time I attended a Good Friday service.  Well, let me rephrase that. I probably attended as a youth, but I don’t recall. I vividly recall the first time I went as an adult.

We were relatively new to our community and had been attending church for a couple of months. We were not exactly new to the church scene, having grown up going to church. But we were not exactly seasoned veterans either. We had no idea what to expect for a Good Friday service. All we knew was that there was one and maybe we should go.

I simply thought – hey, it’s church. So I dressed like I would have dressed to go on any random Sunday morning.

When we got there I immediately realized I had missed the black memo. I was wearing a loud orange and yellow Hawaiian dress. EVERYONE else was in black. Well, maybe not everyone, but it sure seemed like it. They were definitely not wearing loud Hawaiian print dresses. I was suddenly self-conscious and felt foolish.

As we found seats, thinking Sunday again, I was looking to greet the few people we knew and chit chat a bit before the service started. I was unprepared for the somber atmosphere, dark sanctuary, and the silence. Yep. Missed that memo too.

As I think back on it I realize that what a Good Friday service might be never crossed my mind. I assumed it was going to be like a Sunday morning service. And no one told me otherwise.

As I have learned more about Jesus and this final week I understand that Good Friday is not a celebration of life, but a mourning of a death. We celebrate and worship the way we do on Sunday mornings because of what happened on Friday. But Friday is tough. This is the day Jesus dies on the cross. This is not a celebration.

I was not a church “insider” and hadn’t quite made all of those connections yet. Because I did not know that, my first Good Friday service was uncomfortable and I felt out of place.

Someone out there today is thinking about attending a Good Friday service at some church somewhere. This might be the first time you are stepping into a church. Praise God for that! Maybe you are new to church and this is your first ever Good Friday service. Maybe it hasn’t occurred to you that a Good Friday service is probably very different from a Sunday morning service. Maybe I am the only person out there who was that clueless.

But I doubt it. So I don’t want my experience to be your experience. Jesus did not suffer and die on the cross so you or I can feel out of place in the church. He died on the cross because he loves you and wants you to be a part of his church. These are three things I want to say to all the first-timers out there so you will have a heartfelt and meaningful Good Friday Service.

There really isn’t a dress code. There is no memo that goes out letting everyone know what to wear. Unless you are in the choir. There might be a memo if you are in the choir. But for the rest of us, there isn’t one. Please, come as you are. If you, like me, get self-conscious easily, then think funeral. Good Friday is a remembrance of the death of Jesus.

It will be really quiet. Good Friday is a somber day; a weighty day. Don’t be surprised if the worship space is dark and silent. Jesus entered the darkness of sin and separation from God when he died. The darkness and silence of the worship space invites introspection. People are not ignoring you. They are letting the weight of this day fall on them. Let the silence minister to your heart. In it, you will hear the echo of how much Jesus loves you.  For more on this read: Jesus Stayed For You.

It’s personal.  Good Friday is personal. More personal than any other day. We might all be sitting in the same worship space, but we are experiencing Jesus one-on-one. We aren’t laughing and catching up on the news with friends. We are listening and letting God speak into our hearts. It might be a little disconcerting or lonely. Especially if you are new. My encouragement to you is to let it be personal for you too.  For more on just how personal this is for Jesus, read: So Worth It

It doesn’t end with death. Come back on Sunday. This is when the celebration happens! You don’t want to miss this I promise!

It is my prayer that your Good Friday service is an intimate encounter with Jesus. May it forever change you.