Just Because It’s Good Doesn’t Mean It’s Good For Me

Until about a year ago, I worked outside the home full-time, led the women’s ministry for my church, led a Bible study, wrote a weekly devotion for our newsletter and managed to exercise, grocery shop and put meals on the table.

Today I no longer work full-time. I still lead the women’s ministry, lead three Bible studies, barely manage to exercise, barely get the grocery shopping done, barely manage meals and have no time to write those weekly devotions.

The whole reason I left full-time work was to focus on God’s calling to write.

What happened?

During this journey of the #sabbathmargin lent commitment I have once again realized that I have lousy boundaries. Sabbath margin is all about boundaries.

The journey began with the simple 14-inch challenge.

Clean off, clean out, 14 inches of space. I did that on my counters and in my drawers. I was so proud of my accomplishments! I graduated to my office which was a much longer process – days 6 & 7 and beyond but I did complete it. It is now a space I can actually work in, although today I am enjoying being

outside on my deck on this lovely spring day.

In the past three weeks we had our ministry’s consignment sale; one of the facilitators for one of our ladies’ study groups needed to step out because she was imminently due with her 3^rd child; I had a speaking engagement; AND, our ministry leadership team decided we should offer a short-term Saturday morning Bible study for brand-new-to-Bible-study ladies. Our hope was that something like that would appeal to someone wanting to start in a study but was afraid to. We’d have fun learning about our Bibles and getting comfortable with how to read them and study them and then graduate those ladies to a regularly meeting group – equipped with the basics so they could be confident and not intimidated. And of course, now that spring has sprung I am met with the overwhelming task and need to get my yard back in order.

All of this has served to derail my lent commitment to create margin by sucking all available margin right out of my schedule. This is the first time I have been able to sit down and write in three weeks.

The thought has occurred to me that maybe I need to go back to work full-time in order to have more time. Crazy.

I know the reason I have not been writing and have allowed all of the other things to take over my time is that I really have a hard time letting people down. In the absence of someone to shepherd something that seems important, I will step in and do it. This is not necessarily a good leadership trait.

Take the consignment sale: it was lovingly led by a woman who had a passion for it. When the demands in her life made it impossible for her to chair it any longer, I prayed. I prayed like Jehoshaphat prayed in 2 Chronicles. I communicated our need and prayed for the Lord to raise up a leader. This sale funds our women’s ministry – so I felt a responsibility to ensure that it continued. Our sellers love it. Our shoppers love it. When no leader came forward, I stepped in and took it on. That was three years ago. Somehow I managed this while working. This past sale, while not working, mushroomed into a 60-hour commitment in one week in addition to the time spent in prior weeks preparing.

When our Bible study facilitator needed to step out and no one from within the group was willing to take the lead, I stepped in because I couldn’t bear the thought of those ladies not having that group or their time in the Word. I am the one leading the beginners study because leading ladies into the discovery of the Word for themselves is my passion. I readily stepped in to both of these roles without even a second thought as to what that would mean to my time. My margin.

I had lunch with my son the other day and he asked me how writing was going and I was lamenting the lack of time and he asked “why don’t you just block time off on your calendar?”

Indeed. Why don’t I? It seemed so simple – once I wasn’t working 40 hours a week and got back the extra 2 hours per day of commute time as well, I should have 50 hours a week to commit to writing. I should be able to block time off.

I should. But I don’t. I don’t because I do not set good #sabbathmargin boundaries for my time. Sometimes it is really hard to know what my boundaries should be. What I am learning through this process is that we can look to the Bible for help in that.

In the Garden of Eden God established a boundary that Adam and Eve crossed. He said you have the whole garden, but this one tree is not within your boundary. When they crossed that boundary relationships were harmed and they became slaves to sin, labor, toil and death.

The Lord instructed the Israelites to gather for 6 days and on the 7^th day rest. He established a boundary within which the Israelites were to live so that they could experience life as a free people.

Jesus established boundaries when went by himself to pray and when he refused to allow the expectations of others to determine His course of action.

When confronted with a decision that might walk all over our #sabbathmargin boundaries we should ask these questions born out of God’s Word:

• Will this bring life or death to, enhance or harm, my relationships, my emotions, my attitude or my situation?
• Does this help me to accomplish what I need to accomplish in order to rest on the 7^th day or does it cause me to lose my rest margin? Does this enslave me or bring freedom?
• Does this rob me of or build into my quiet time or study time?
• Is my course of action or my decision a response to others’ expectations? Am I more concerned about the possibility of letting others down at the expense of honoring the boundaries God would have me set?

None of the things that have encroached on my time these past three weeks are bad things. None of them are wasteful things. They are good and serve a purpose in God’s kingdom. This I believe. The practice of establishing boundaries isn’t as much about determining the worth of something, as it is about determining what our role in it should be. Without boundaries, we will easily get consumed with being busy and still not accomplish what the Lord would have us accomplish.

Setting boundaries has never been easy for me. Maybe that is because I haven’t been looking for the boundaries God has already set?

His boundaries bring life, bring freedom and accomplish His purpose. As I evaluate these past three weeks, as I evaluate where my time goes, this will be what I look for. If we keep the benefits of God’s boundaries in sight, the boundaries we need to establish might, just might, get a little easier to do.

Love and blessings,

Denise

#livingholy

#livefreeThursday