My Father’s Gift

My dad had a penchant for Mustang cars. Not the new ones. The old, classic models. He had a 1966 powder blue Mustang that he lovingly and carefully restored. One summer, home from college, I got to drive it as my main car. I really thought I was the coolest girl on the road, despite the lack of air conditioning!

Close to 23 years ago I was visiting my parents with my two boys. My oldest was only about two at the time and he adored his Pawpaw. Whatever Pawpaw was doing, Benny was doing. On this one particular day, my dad was working on the Mustang and Benny was out there with him. Unbeknownst to Pawpaw, Benny picked up a screwdriver and began punching it into the newly covered vinyl seat cushions.

Benny’s tears were evidence that he was surprised to be corrected by his Pawpaw. I knew that my dad was upset with him, but I also knew that his reaction was not what mine would have been. My response would have been to come unglued. Not my dad. He rarely ever lost his temper. Even when I broke the canopy bed top frame he didn’t get angry or yell. He simply called me Jane (as in Tarzan and Jane – because I broke it by swinging from it trapeze style) and proceeded to establish the consequences. I remember these episodes precisely because my dad did not get angry.

It isn’t that he never disciplined my sister or me, because he did. I simply don’t remember him raising his voice to do it.

 

My dad was not one for quoting Scripture although I am sure he knew it. Left to me, I would say that Proverbs 15:1 was a guiding passage for his life.

“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” is how my dad lived.

He was, and still is, a man of gentleness, quiet strength, and character.

In this, I am not like my dad. I tend to react first, ask questions later. I can definitely “have a tone.” Unfortunately my colossal meltdowns are memories my boys have of me. I could have used to learn the art of a gentle answer. I am thankful that I have the example of my dad to look to as I recognize it is never too late to practice gentleness, quietness, and strength of character. As I get older I pray I am becoming more like him.

The gentle answer is a beautiful gift dad gave to our family.

Age is doing its best to rob my dad of the best of who he is. I am achingly aware that the passage of time will not be kind.

Fear of the aging unknown at times causes my dad’s present reality to be different than his past. Sometimes the gentle answer is not given. This is one of the insidious effects of that which seeks to steal our minds. When it happens, my heart tells me that this is not the man my dad is. My heart still knows the man who raised me, guided me, encouraged me, and loved me, and showed me the right way. My heart will always choose to remember and know the gentle answer.

This gift, the gift of the gentle answer, is priceless.

Thank you dad.

I love you.

#lifegivingwords